Bronze Age Platform
I was sitting in field on steppe, waiting for sunup to pillage city, when suddenly bright light appear. I know not what happen, but then see a new city, much larger, but I lack my weapons, or my frens, so I know not what to do. Everyone speak weird tongue, and the lights, many lights. But what most shocked me was lack of smell of s***. In city I conquer, unless very close to water, city smell like s***. Human s***, animal s***. Ancient cities lacked indoor plumbing, this known, but not really known. I knew. It was not case whole world back then smelled like s***, mountain smelled like mountain, just like now, but with no smog. Why I so eager put city to fire? That why.
I sit round in bus stop listening to man on screen, eventually I learn language. I learn I am 4000 years in future, in city called Los Angeles. I learn some similarities with cities I used to
put to fire. Much trade, much haggling, mayor live in compound with armed guards. City is population sink, many die, fewer are born, city would decline without continual migration from country. Books in library tell of brief time in early 20th century when cities were not sinks, when they grew naturally. Must have been weird.
There are many things different. Why you use a and the? Words have no function, waste of breath. You thought AI would think fundamentally different from you, use some thought method you could barely comprehend, turn out it uses words too, for words encode information, any intelligent entity use something like them. But does ChatGPT use a and the as token? I don’t see why it would, no informational value.
You have so much food, and are so fat, and food go in dumpster. Why can I not loot dumpster? You are like child, doesn’t play with toy, won’t let brother play with toy either. You tell me issue is lawyer will sue you if dumpster looter gets hurt, why you not shoot the lawyer, if you have second amendment? So confusing.
And why can I not master bait in public park? Master bait much better in fresh air than in stale stagnant indoor air. They say no, because children could see. Does master bait release some kind of infohazard? They say it will screw with children’s sexual development. I say in my time, children didn’t grow up ghay or trans. Maybe should listen to me and not selves.
I work on construction site, get paid 90$. World good, despite inability to master bait in public, so decide give offering to local God. Prepare offering, but get told statue of man is not God, his name is George Washington, and his statue will come down soon anyway. Man tell me I’ll find God in church. I go, I ask priest, where is God? God is everywhere, he say. God is not localized to place. I say, is that not the same as saying God is nowhere? I tell him in my time I know where God is. God is on cart pulled by oxen, God is 3 feet tall. We need not read book to see God power, we see it every day, he make the lighting and the sun go up and down. And with him we win in war. If we lose in war, we conclude other God stronger. We update our beliefs on new evidence, unlike ghey modern religion.
I want buy palace, but told I need paper money, more than have from construction site work. While I get paper money I build home out of cardboard and tin. Men in blue tell me I not allowed to live on land because it is private hunting grounds of King. Men in blue somewhat like Bronze Age Männerbund, but many are fat and some are even ghey. I make friend name John. He is president of Affordable Housing Coalition. He says King is oppressor and men in blue are killers, they killed holy man named Floyd. He supports our use of Kings land. But when I put electricity and indoor plumbing in my shack and rent out room to roommate he declare I am greedy developer slumlord trying to destroy affordable housing in city. City come down knock down shack. Why you only allow build of mansion or most primitive shack? We need more missing middle housing.
John tell me I am not right type for city, should move to suburb, so I do. More are fat but less are ghey. More kids around. I like kids more than adults. Kids are like barbarians, fewer are fat or ghey and they don’t yell at me for immorality all the time. Many suburb people have dog. I see no wild game, so conclude dog are not for hunting, must be for meat, milk, or hide. I ask a man with dog which it is. He get mad and call me a ch*nk. Dog I learn are holy in this suburb, like cow in subcontinent. But cow provide vital dairy to hindu, dog only make s***. Dog are boss of human. Human clean up dog s***, dog not do any work for human, except for men in blue who have dog bite their enemies.
One thing I don’t get about people. You constantly lecture me about safety, danger. It “dangerous” to walk around drunk out of your mind after ten shots of jonny walker black, they say. It “dangerous” to cut bread with dagger. Man bite dog, very common, they say, but they never demand banning of dog.
I want wife, ask if this suburb use brideprice or dowry. I told that it is neither, father has no say over daughter choices. I ask how to win heart of women. I told answer is obvious, but cannot explain it to me. No actionable advice provided. I tell them when I ask how to fix car, they don’t say “be a good mechanic,” they actually explain how to do it. They don’t know themselves, I suspect. I got tired of subject so got fat girlfren. I tell her she need not be so fat, she call me a s***head, so I beat her with belt. She call men in blue and they come and tell me it is crime against King. But she no press charges so I released. This happen several more times before I get tired and leave. They say beating is morally wrong, much better argument it simply don’t work to modify behavior.
I meet once military recruitment man. He says I can join mannerbund with no fat allowed, but gay allowed, though until recently banned. I ask if I can rape the ravens as I put city to torch, he say no, and that I can only put city to torch remotely through video game console. I say no, for now.
Outside recruitment office, I meet man in bowler hat. He ask if it true that bronze age warriors preferred death over slavery. I say, sort of. We had that as ideal. But ideals often just talk. Some killed self, others not. But whole nations? Not far as I could see. When young man far from home, face defeat on campaign, killing self to avoid shame of slavery not so hard. But for an entire nation to choose death over slavery, requires the adults in camp to kill their children with their own hand. Very hard. Only a few freaks like Joseph Goebbels do so, his genes not in gene pool anymore.
After this, I go to Kung Fu teacher. I ask him if he eat dog, hoping to bond with another who is not part of this dog cult. But he call me racist. I say sorry and we get along. He have speck of martial spirit, but it ultimately ridiculous. He train for years and years and years and one man have a gun and he dead.
In ancient city, I walk around and peasant inherently fear me. He saw my physical superiority and my weapons, knew he had no chance. Even if he managed to take my dagger, I trained for years to dodge dagger. He lunge at me, I dodge, take dagger back, finish job. Today, I walk around city, men know they lose fair fight against me. But I know some have guns, I turn my back, I am sitting duck. I can never dominate the street like I was accustomed to, nor can martial artist.
In revolutionary campaign, groups no teach martial arts to recruit. Instead, teach how to make bomb and fire gun in shadow of night, then scurry off to hide. Of course, I did much hiding, running, scurrying in bronze age war. First rule of warfare is, you always avoid a fair fight. Attack enemy supply lines, deprive enemy of food, attack when enemy sleeping, attack when enemy outnumbered, fool enemy then ambush him. But unless enemy surrender, I know I eventually must thrust spear into enemy body. I must fight with all my strength even against weakened enemy, shatter his body with brute vital force! IRA man leave bomb in building, walk away. Bomb do all work, bomb shatter bodies of enemy.
Only in wilderness campaign are virtues of bronze age warrior still useful. This inspire me to take to hills, live as wilderness survival expert. I restore some sense of superiority to bugman. Bugman thinks he wild man as he hike up safe, professionally maintained trail, only see view of real nature, never enter it. I hide at edge, watch and laugh. I know here I have definitive superiority to bugman, I could sneak up, fire gun, then withdraw, he never see me. I keep my kife and gun with me, use gun sparingly, only so much ammunition.
Even here, allure of civilization too much. Many hunter-gatherer man live in forest, but come down to civilization, preferring to beg and prostitute his woman for money to buy liquor. Life in hunting grounds just too harsh. Most bugman never eat wild game, only obese modern herds, think that is normal taste of meat! Even hunter unthinkably put butter or olive oil on wild game when put it on pan-fry. There is no butter in forest! Real taste of meat is all protein, no fat. The hunter thinks of everything in terms of source of food. Squirrel bad, little food, moose good, much more food. But nothing compares to hunting cabin! Only some great moralfaggotry could keep hunter-gatherer from raiding hunting cabin, where there is butter, sugar, bread, and beer.
Eventually I come down back to city, too lonely on mountain. Modern imagine hunters as solitary men, was rarely case. Hunting very dangerous.
I go work as computer programmer in tech industry. Pay good, working conditions nice, few gay or fat. One man bring dog to work and I launch into rant about how modern man is cuck to dog and dog are to blame for low fertility rates. I get called into HR, but say my mom die, he forgive me. Ultimately it unsatisfying, I want be out there putting cities to fire. My fren lecture me about my “zero-sum mindset,” say I should engage myself with positive-sum pursuits like web development. I say his theory doesn’t account for pleasure I get from rape and putting cities to fire. He say mine is antisocial preference, so is excluded from consideration in calculating national utility function.
I fall depressed. But my fren tell me I shouldn’t expect assimilate and feel comfortable as real American. I am immigrant, more or less. Immigrant not assimilate, children do. My children will see me as stodgy old boomer, be nothing like me. Sad, but at least they be comfortable here.
One day I watch TV and see fat and senile old people called politicians. Of all I’ve done, construction work, program computer, robbing hunting cabin, this looks like funnest. Spend all day rile people up, collect donations, make your own hours. I quit my job to work on my Bronze Age Platform.